


Pretending

by nupoxsi



Category: Ylvis
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Brotherly Affection, Dorks in Love, Fluff, M/M, Sibling Incest, teen!ylvis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 07:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4213161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nupoxsi/pseuds/nupoxsi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A couple of months after Vegard comes back from his military training, Bård keeps acting clingy and extra-friendly when they are together. Vegard doesn’t say it out loud, but he grows fond of the sudden acts of intimacy they share. On a Saturday night, they go to a party together, and they make some new discoveries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretending

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fairieswearboots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairieswearboots/gifts).



> Hello! I should’ve posted this some weeks ago, but university has been drowning me alive. The idea for this work has been on my drafts for more than six months already, and I’ve finally forced myself to write it. It’s dedicated to [sheslikealostflower](http://archiveofourown.org/users/sheslikealostflower/pseuds/sheslikealostflower) ♥ the cutest person on Earth and whom deserves all the fluffy fics in the world. (I know this isn’t much of a surprise because I told you the main idea of this fic months ago, but I still hope you like it ♥ ily)
> 
> Bård is around 17 in here, but there won’t be any kind of underage, so there’s nothing to worry about. Somehow this turned out to be longer than I expected it to be, I hope that is not a problem?
> 
> Disclaimer: nothing is real, all is a work of fiction. Typos/grammar mistakes are my own.
> 
> Enjoy!

“The floor is lava!”

“Bård, come on,” Vegard urges him to stop for the second time that early afternoon. He stands in the doorway, staring at him. In spite of his reluctance to follow his silly game, he can’t hide the amusement in his voice. “Aren’t you too old to—”

“You can never be too old for this.”

“It’s okay for you to say it when you’re not the one who has to play.”

“Don’t be boring. You are the one coming into my bedroom and the floor is fucking lava.” Bård shrugs and flashes him a wide grin. “And if you touch the ground, you’ll burn.”

From the doorway, Vegard looks quizzically at his funny brother. The challenging smirk playing on his lips is recognisable. Vegard in notice the smug expression the youngest carries on his face, looking quite proud of himself. Bård sits on his bed with his back pressed flat against the wall, slender arms crossed over his chest. He’s still in his pyjamas, a white Ninja Turtles shirt with a pair of navy boxer shorts. Vegard observes him from the spot he stands on, narrowing his eyes in a silent way of asking Bård whether he is for real or not. In a quick response, his brother only arches his left eyebrow in a challenging way. That little shit.

Truth be told, Vegard finds rather comical the way Bård has been giving him small tasks after he came back from his military training. At times it would be meaningless stuff, like asking Vegard to fetch him stuff while he lied lazily on his own bed. Though in other occasions, Bård would be a little too demanding. Without holding his ideas back, the younger would make him do some acrobatics, or race him across the street. He’s fine with doing these tasks, as well. They put a smile on his brother’s face, and that’s enough for him.

It has been nearly over three months since he returned from the training. Ever since he came back, Bård has been quite exigent with Vegard. And super clingy as well. Bård’s hands would be on him pretty often without any kind of explanation. Although Vegard doesn’t truly mind. He likes the closeness. A year is a long time away, after all. He has missed spending time with Bård quite a lot.

Taking a flash look across the bedroom, Vegard soon realises crossing to the other side of the bedroom is not as hard as Bård makes it seem. The main obstacles exist thanks to the lack of order in the place. He spots a shirt close to the computer chair by desk, he spots a white shirt on the ground. Strategically, Vegard is able to jump from the doorframe to step on top of the shirt. Lucky for them, he is not wearing his shoes, only a pair of red socks that match his shirt. That allows him to step on any kind of furniture or clothing without any regrets. His sharp eyes study the situation with carefulness, shifting between the furniture across the bedroom. Then, Vegard jumps on top of the computer chair and uses the desk to gain strength and push himself towards the bed. The computer chair rolls until it hits the side of the mattress. Only then, super close to the bed, he allows himself to fall forward, landing down beside his brother.

He pants at the sudden movements, but he’s quick to catch his breath.

“Excellent performance!” Bård singsongs, giggles escaping his mouth. “You’re getting better.”

“I’ve always beaten you in this,” Vegard reminds him with an exaggerated shrug, sitting in a similar position as his brother’s. “In any physical activity, actually.”

“Vegard, you run as if you had two left feet.”

“And I’m still better than you.”

Bård punches his forearm in an affectionate manner. “Shut up.”

“Ouch.” He fakes a grimace of pain, rubbing his bicep in circular motion. Bård runs a hand through his messy golden hair and smiles at him, proud of his doings. In response, all Vegard does his chuckle before clearing his throat. “Hey, so, Bjarte said you were asking for me?”

“Oh, yeah.” Bård immediately looks away, and Vegard can immediately tell his brother is up to something. His body language is too easy to read. Still looking away, the blond boy idly scratches his arm, the anxious motion speaking louder than words. Vegard knows him too well. “I wanted to ask you something. ”

“And well?”

“Okay. There’s this party I’ve been invited to, but I don’t want to go on my own,” he starts in a rush. Okay. Vegard already knows where the conversation is heading at. With honest cheer, he smiles, and his gaze follows the small path Bård’s finger traces over the thick green fabric of the duvet. “I mean, it isn’t a fancy party or anything, more like some friends are hanging out together for a couple of hours. There will be beers, perhaps something else to drink, and music. Awful pop music, that’s for sure. Some people I know will be there, but still, it’d be awkward for me to show up there all alone.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Bård echoes, though he finally looks up and meets Vegard’s gaze. There’s a faint colour on his cheeks, and he taps his fingers over the duvet as he speaks. The older boy has to look away to keep himself from reaching over and putting an end to the anxious motion. “So… Are you going to make me say it?”

Vegard chuckles. “Nah, it’s fine, there’s no need to. I’ll go with you.”

“Thanks,” he mumbles with a relieved sigh, happiness almost palpable on his voice. “It’s tonight at eight o’clock.”

“Meaning we’ll show up around eight thirty?”

Bård nods. “Exactly.”

“And whose party is it that you don’t want to go alone?” Vegard asks, curiosity invading him all of the sudden. Perhaps a year ago he wouldn’t be asking those questions. They use to share almost everything. But in his time away, he has missed many things from Bård’s life, especially knowing his circle of friends. “People from your theatre group?”

“Well…” He looks doubtful for a brief moment, mouth open and ready to say something but remaining silent for a while. “Not exactly. Do you remember Knut?” Vegard quickly nods, the image of a long brown haired and trained dancer flashing on the back of his mind. He remembers seeing Knut from afar a couple of times, though he’s never had any kind of interaction with him. Interested to keep hearing, he motions him to keep talking. “Hmm, when you were gone, it felt kinda lonely in the theatre. I started being more extrovert than before, meeting new people. I spoke with Knut a couple of times after practices, and well, he has a little sister. She often came to the theatre to meet him, and they’d go home together. Like us.” He laughs. “Her name is Elisabeth, and she is one year older than me. After you were gone, she kept coming at our rehearsals for a while, and we sort of dated for two weeks.”

Vegard’s brown eyes widen in surprise and his jaw drops open. His back, once arched due to his cross-legged position, now straightens at the understanding of the words. Dated? How much has he missed while he was away? He feels somewhat shocked at the information. And yet, he doesn’t know whether it’s to do with the fact Bård has been with someone or that he’s kept it a secret for weeks. Blinking several times, Vegard collects himself. His tongue flickers across his chapped lower lip, mind coming back from the shock and starting to think what he wants to say.

“As in, she was your girlfriend?”

“You could say that, yes.”

“ _Girlfriend_ girlfriend?”

“Yeah, Vegard, _girlfriend_ girlfriend.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Vegard punches Bård’s bare thigh with a closed fist, though he doesn’t mean it to hurt too much. Still, the blond boy flinches, but doesn’t complain. “I’m your older brother! I should know these things,” he explains, now punching Bård’s shoulder with a little more of strength. “And now you’re keeping things away from me.”

“Ouch!” This time, Bård does whine. “You don’t have to be so violent.”

“Spit it out already.”

After taking a deep breath, he finally manages to speak. “I am not keeping things from you. It’s just— It wasn’t that special. One time she came to me after rehearsals and asked me out. I said yes. We went out a couple of times and that was it. I mean, she’s pretty and everything, but we things never worked out between us.”

“And that’s all?”

Bård nods. “Yeah. That’s why I didn’t tell you, it wasn’t relevant.”

“Of course it’s relevant! Your first girlfriend, and I didn’t know.”

“I’m telling you now! And it just didn’t work out.”

“What does that mean? She wasn’t good in bed, or—”

“Oh, shut up.” A fist impacts on Vegard’s forearm. “I guess I just didn’t really like her.”

“Are you being serious?”

“Yeah, I don’t really need to talk about it. We both wanted it to end.”

Vegard quirks an eyebrow. “No hearts were broken?”

“Mine wasn’t.” He smiles shyly, though he doesn’t meet Vegard’s gaze. “It was months ago, don’t worry. It wasn’t as serious as you make it sound.”

“Very well, then, I believe you,” Vegard finally drops the issue, aware of how flushed Bård’s cheeks are. He’s never told his brother, but he finds the blush on his cheeks extremely cute. “But even though you guys broke up, she invited you to a party?”

“ _Birthday_ party. And I guess she did it because she was trying to be polite. I saw her at the groceries store the other day, and she invited me. I said I would go, but…” Bård sighs, his fingers now dancing on his uncovered knees. “She said I could take someone with me, and it would be awkward if I appeared in there alone.”

“That’s a good thing you’ve got me, then,” Vegard says in a mocking tone, hiding how much he actually means the words. He reaches over to wrap his arm around Bård’s slender shoulders, pressing him to his side. “I’ll go with you. Don’t worry.”

Bård accepts the silent invitation for closeness and lets his head fall on top of Vegard’s shoulder. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” he adds with a kind smile. “Just let me know when I have to get ready.”

“Will do, don’t doubt about that.”

They stay in the same position for a moment. His hand strokes Bård’s slender shoulder as he feels his younger brother nuzzling on the crook of his neck. It’s a pleasant feeling, a silent grin appearing on Vegard’s features every time the soft hair brushes his left collarbone. Having Bård that close to him is very enjoyable. They don’t have to do anything to make moments like this so special, being together is enough to get Vegard’s mood up on the sky. He loves feeling the hot air Bård blows straight to his collarbones. And it’s more than that. He loves small tickles he gets when his spiky hair brushes the sensitive spots on his necks, loves knowing Bård is there, at his reach. Vegard wouldn’t change moments like these for anything in the world.

When he feels the lack of warmth on his neck, he looks down, searching for the blue irises he enjoys staring at. He finds his younger brother lifting his head off his shoulder and already staring back at him. The sudden proximity between them becomes overwhelming when Vegard becomes aware of it. Their faces are mere centimetres apart, the tips of their noses almost touching. He blinks, finding it hard to breathe. What he notices the most is the way those perfect pink lips part part open.

Vegard’s cheeks heat up, a warm wave that spreads to his neck and ears. He doesn’t know whether it’s due to some kind of embarrassment or because his heart starts to beat faster.

It all seems to end soon. Bård tries to hide a small smile while backing away, putting some distance between them. Vegard looks away for a moment, too, trying to find the reason his heart doesn’t seem to slow down its pace.

“I better get my Linguistics lecture done,” Bård comments, scratching the back of his head. “It’s only a ten pages text, but it’s really boring.”

After blinking several times, Vegard takes the hint to stand up from the bed. Part of him feels quite alien with going away, remembering the times he used to stay in Bård’s bedroom to help him with his homework. He liked giving Bård a hand with any kind of homework, but most specifically in Geography and History. Regardless of this, being apart for months made the younger brother more independent when it came to the academic side. It wasn’t as if he did all he homework himself either. He helped him with whatever was hard to learn without much effort, guiding him and letting him work. Though since he came back, Bård locks himself in his room and works alone, in complete silence. It doesn’t feel well, but Vegard reasons perhaps it’s easier for Bård to work like that.

In spite of this, he still wants to offer his help.

“I’m guessing you don’t need any help, do you?”

“No, it’s okay. It’s mostly reading, so don’t worry about it.”

“Very well,” Vegard says with a short smile, shoving both hands into the front pockets of his pants. “Let me know when we’re ready to go.”

Bård nods. “I will,” he says. “And Vegard?”

“Yes?”

“The floor is still lava.”

Vegard rolls his eyes, then shows him his middle finger. “Fuck you.”

 

* * *

 

Minutes come and go while he tries to find something to wear. Vegard has been in his bedroom for quite a while now. He keeps rummaging through his closet in search for a nice shirt. In truth, he didn’t think much about his clothing throughout the rest day. He isn’t the kind of person who bothers too much with looks. Yet when Bård peeked his head into his bedroom to ask if he was ready, he realised he didn’t have the slightest clue on what to wear. He doesn’t know anyone at that party, but even though he won’t be there to make friends, he wants to have a good impression on Bård’s friends.

After taking his time to go through several shirts —long sleeved, short sleeved, with stripes, of different colours—, he decides to pick something rather classic to wear. He grabs his blue jeans, a light pair in comparison to the ones he wore during the day. He also thinks of wearing his loyal and worn out All-Stars, and a denim jacket that matches his jeans. His hands get to the back of the closet when he spots a dark mass. He hums in victory when he finally finds the black shirt he was looking for.

Only by then Vegard’s almost ready. He grabs his All-Stars from behind the door and turns around to sit on the bed. They’re not in a hurry, but it’s been almost twenty minutes since his brother asked him if he was ready. Vegard stares at the clock hanging on the wall. It’s 8:43 PM. They should be going soon. He ties one of the shoes first, and just when he’s starting to tie the other, the door to his bedroom opens. He looks up.

It’s Bård.

Something strange happens inside of him when his brother walks into his room. When his eyes find him staring back, he forgets about everything, even how to tie his shoes.

From head to toe, Vegard takes his time to inspect the way he looks tonight. A mass of longish golden hair that doesn’t seem to have control anymore, blue eyes that look incredibly big under the bright light of Vegard’s bedroom, pouty rosy lips that are ready to ask something at any second. The moss-green and long-sleeved shirt he wears makes his skin look pale, the contrast quite pleasant to the eye. Vegard’s curious eyes try down his shoulders and find his hands, quite big compared to his own, ones that any musician would recognise. The rest of his outfit consists of dark pants and a pair of red knickers.

How can he look so fucking gorgeous?

Because there’s no other word to describe him tonight. He looks utterly gorgeous. Bård has grown up so much in the past year that Vegard still finds it hard to believe. Yeah, he was gone for almost eleven whole months, but he never expected to find his little brother looking so adult. He’s even taller than Vegard now, and those few more centimetres of height only make him older than he truly is. Older and… handsome.

Vegard keeps staring at him with a keen interest. Not only Bård has grown taller, but his usual clean features are those of a man already. The usual kid looks he had have now morphed, leaving only the pureness in his jovial smile.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“How do I look?” The younger brother asks, carrying a somewhat shy yet trying-to-be smug smile on his face.

Vegard flicks his tongue over his lips before replying, also biting his lower one. “Yeah, you look good.”

“And you’re pretty decent yourself,” Bård mocks him, crossing his arms behind his head. “Are you ready?”

“Yes, kind of.” It’s hard for him to take his eyes off his brother when he looks so good. For the second time that day he feels his heart racing in his ribcage without any kind of explanation. “Let me just…” he mumbles, forcing himself to look away and tie his other shoe without wasting a second. “Done.”

He looks up again, and even though he tries not to stare at Bård with interest, he can’t avoid it. Grabbing the denim jacket, Vegard stands up from the bed, but his gaze remains on his brother, on how good he looks tonight. Can it be that Bård is planning to hit back on his ex-girlfriend? Or is there any other reason he looks astonishing tonight? Vegard can’t quite explain, yet he appreciates to have something so beautiful to stare at.

“Should we get going?” Bård inquires, motioning towards the door.

“Yes.” He feels embarrassed for a moment, but he collects himself real quick. He can’t behave like this, though it’s hard to explain why, even to himself. “Let’s go.”

They exit his bedroom with quick steps and head straight down the stairs. Vegard puts the jacket on once they get to the living room, where they find their parents and Bjarte watching some TV show. Standing behind the big couch, they wait some seconds until the TV show gets to the advertisements break. The brothers pay their farewells, kissing their mother’s cheek and promising not to get home so late. They walk to the front door, and Bård holds the door open for him to go out first.

Outside, the night breeze makes the tree branches dance, creaking in an improvised sway. Vegard walks ahead, knowing his brother is following him suit. He gets opens the left door of the car and gets behind the steering wheel. After not too long, Bård joins him, getting into the passenger seat. Vegard shoots him a confirmation look before starting the engine and pulling out of the driveway.

They drive in the quietness of the night for a while, enjoying the comfortable silence inside the car. A chill wind blows into the confined from the rolled-down windows. It’s a nice setting.

After a while, Vegard reaches over to turn the radio on. To his right, Bård accepts his mute invitation to pick up a suitable station. In other occasion, they would simply opt for picking one of Vegard’s cassettes. Despite this, they both are aware of their absence from the car glove box. The explanation is silly. When Vegard came back, he took all his cassettes out of the car glove box, mostly because he’d grown tired of listening over and over again to some of them. Plus, he really felt he needed to get in contact with the newest popular music. Bård told him he’d record new cassettes for him, but the younger brother had been busy with school and his theatre rehearsals. That, and well, spending his free time with Vegard. There was no point in telling him to hurry, it could wait. They still have many things to catch up to.

Vegard stops on a red light to look at Bård. He turns just in time to catch a glimpse of his satisfied expression once he find a good song on the radio. The first verse of U2’s ‘ _I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For_ ’ fill the silence inside the car. Vegard finds himself smiling as well. It’s a nice song, one of the first he got in contact with after they came back from Africa. He still remembers the rainy afternoon the two went to a music store and he got _The Joshua Tree_ for Bård. Lost in his own memory, and listening the likeable melody of the song, Vegard turns to find Bård staring back at him. The two share an intimate look as they wait for the light to turn green.

Contrary to what most people tend to do, picking the music in the car has always been the shotgun task. Vegard enjoys being behind the steering wheel and have Bård at his side, surfing through several radio stations in hope to find something he knows the two of them will like. Sometimes it’s even more than that. Vegard loves staring at the concentration in Bård’s face as he goes through his collection of cassettes. He loves to witness the moment small wrinkles appear on the corners of his eyes and his brow furrows with absorption. Most of the times, he surprises him with his random pick of music. But that’s alright, that’s what they both like. On several occasions the roles would be reversed, too. Vegard would find himself picking the soundtrack to their journey whilst Bård drove them to their destination. It also felt right.

What is constant in all of these situations is how Vegard’s eyes keep being drawn back to Bård’s face rather than fixing on the road ahead.

“We gotta turn left here,” Bård points out to him, lowering the volume of the music. “Then keep driving for two blocks and turn left again.”

“Thank you,” Vegard utters and smiles at him before taking the left turn. His eyes leave his brother’s features just after he catches a glimpse of Bård’s beautiful grin. “I was about to ask you for directions.

He chuckles lightly. “Yeah, I know you.”

They drive for another five minutes listening to the radio station. Vegard keeps one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear shift. He keeps taking glances at Bård to find him tapping his fingers over his thigh, mumbling lyrics and humming melodies.

“Now take a right turn and keep driving until we find another traffic light.”

Vegard nods briefly, driving at a fair speed. He eyes him again, and then clears his throat.

“So, these friends of yours…”

“ _Acquaintances,_ ” Bård corrects, lifting his index finger to make a point.

“So, these acquaintances of yours,” Vegard concedes, keeping his hand on the steering wheel. “Are they nice?”

“They’re…” As his voice fades, Vegard detects his movements out of the corner of his eye. Bård makes a small gesture with his hand, tilting his head to both sides. “Sometimes it’s hard for them to get my humour.”

“But you like them?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

“ _Kind of,_ ” Vegard echoes while he chuckles. “What I’m asking is, are you going to leave me alone to die at a party where I literally know no one?” He asks, bumping their elbows together before reaching for the gear shift again.

“Come on, Vegard, you know I wouldn’t be able to do that.”

“I don’t know how close to them you are. Maybe you’re looking forward to seeing them.”

“Stop that,” he instructs in a flat tone. “If you weren’t driving right now I’d probably give you a punch.”

The seriousness in his statement dies when he laughs, and Vegard joins with his own laughter as well. Honestly, it’s not that he truly worries about being left alone, he knows how to make small chat, anyway. It’s more to do with the fact that he does want to spend some time with Bård. Not that he’ll tell his younger brother out loud, that’ll probably earn him more punches for being quite cheesy. Spending time with him is wonderful, there’s no one that gets his humour or the things he means like Bård does. And getting away from the house would be nice for a while, a different way of hanging out together. Vegard simply hopes Bård won’t disappear for too long.

They keep driving for some minutes, following Bård’s directions and listening to the nice radio station. The way isn’t familiar to Vegard, he’s never been to the house before. However, he trusts the other’s instructions and takes them to the place without further problem. There are around five or six cars parked on the nearness of the place, so Vegard guesses the party has already started.

“So I guess we’re kind of late,” he says out loud, reducing the speed as they drive in front of the house.

“It’s alright, I told her I’d come, not the hour,” Bård utters, staring out of the window. He points at an empty spot a couple of meters ahead. “You can park there.”

He doesn’t question him and does as told, parking the car in that place. Reaching over, Bård turns the radio off. As soon as the roar of the engine dies, the younger brother gets out of the car, stepping on the pavement. Vegard follows him right away, fixing his denim jacket. When he gets out, he spots Bård standing by the car, waiting for him with a short smile and a cool expression. The lamppost glows bright above him, illuminating his face. He moves in his direction, eyes never leaving the blues he loves to get lost in.

“Let’s go,” Bård tells him, nodding in the house’s direction.

Vegard just gives him an acknowledging nod as response that he understands to the dot. Bård starts moving, and he follows him close. Side by side, they walk the small path that takes them to the house. It’s impossible for him to avoid taking glances at his brother out of the corner of his eye. Without any doubts, he moss green suits him, and his face seems to glow even in the dark of the house pathway.

 _He is so gorgeous_ , the older boy admits to himself without a trace of guilt. _Girls will throw themselves at him tonight._

Abruptly, Vegard forces himself to stop those thoughts once they stand in front of the open door. He needs to come back to the present.

They walk through the front door to discover Bård’s predictions weren’t wrong; pop music blasts through big speakers on the inside of the house. It’s a song Vegard is familiar with, one he has heard in radio and TV quite often, yet he can’t recall its name. He doesn’t hate the tune, but once it’s been played thousands of times in the radio, he has grown tired of its rhythm. Vegard turns to look at him, but the taller Ylvisåker only shrugs with a short smile.  

The inside of the house is big, though not enormous. A group of five people fill the small hallway that leads to a larger room. He notices how Bård nods with politeness at some of them, though he doesn’t stop to say hi. He wonders if his little brother actually wants to and is shying away only because he’s there. If his suspicions are true, he can’t find anything to do about it. Bård was the one to ask for his company. The younger brother walks past the group of people and enters the larger room, and Vegard can’t do anything but to follow his steps.

There are more groups of people in the room. Vegard looks around, noticing there are some couches and a table filled with drinks. Bård was right, it’s mostly beers and some kind of cocktail. He’s about to ask him whether he’d like a beer or not, but before he can ask, someone calls his brother’s name.

“Hey, Bård!” A guy, taller than the two of them and with spiky red hair approaches them. “Elisabeth told me she invited you but I thought you weren’t coming!”

“Hi, Martin!” Bård instantly greet him with kindness, nodding at him. He chuckles, yet it seems quite forced to Vegard. “Yeah, well, here I am.”

“How’s everything been? Good?”

“Yeah, things are awesome.”

“Good, man! I’m happy to hear that. I’m going to leave you to it, then.”

“Okay,” he says with another nod. “I’ll see you later.”

The guy— _Martin_ pats his shoulder before disappearing into the opposite direction. Vegard does his best not to give Bård the ‘I knew you had many friends at the party’ look, but he knows there’s a bit of it in his eyes once they meet the blue gaze.

“He used to be in theatre,” Bård explains, walking them towards the drinks table. “But he quit before the fifth class.”

“Oh.” Vegard isn’t surprised at all. Theatre isn’t for everyone, after all. “You still friends with him?”

“I see him every now and then in parties and such, but not too often.”

Vegard narrows his eyes. “So you were a party boy while I was gone.”

“Oh my God.” Bård turns to look at him, stopping before they reach the table. “It was pretty boring here while you were gone, alright? But I didn’t go to that many parties either. We just used to hang out on the weekends.”

Bård looks over his shoulder for a brief moment, and the two keep walking until they get to the drinks table. Hr stares at his brother’s back as he grabs the beers, quite doubtful. There’s some truth to it— Bård hasn’t gone out all by himself ever since Vegard came back. Lately, all their weekends have been reserved for the two of them. They’d watch movies together, play music until it was late in the night, or simply talk about random stuff. In various occasions, Vegard would even suggest to walk across the city without any kind of destination. Without hesitating, Bård always agreed. These bonding activities were so pleasant, as if they were recovering the year that they lost.

The realisation of how Bård has been spending his free time brings many questions to his mind. Does Bård miss spending time with his friends? Is Vegard’s presence keeping him from having a good time around people his age? True, Bård still goes to theatre quite often, and he sees his friends there, but Vegard knows from experience that it isn’t the same as spending time with them outside theatre.

“Here,” Bård calls him, offering him a bottle of beer.

“Thank you,” he replies.

A wink. “Don’t thank me.”

With beers in hand, they move towards one of the walls, finding a place where people are not talking. In their way, Bård says hello to some people they pass by. Despite the evident way in which several people try to make him stay, Bård mumbles some words and keeps walking. Vegard wants to ask why, but he doesn’t. Instead, he keeps moving until Bård stops. Only then he also freezes, watching his brother press his back against the wall and drink from his beer.

Vegard gets closer, leaning against the wall.

“You can go talk to your friends, you know?” He comments absently, sipping from his beer. “It won’t bother me.”

“ _Acquaintances_ ,” Bård corrects him once more.

“Friends, acquaintances— what I mean is that you can join them if you want.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I don’t feel like it.”

“Bård, there’s no problem, you really can go if you wish. I was joking when I said I’d die if you left me alone.”

“I know I can go, but I don’t want to.”

Curious, Vegard studies his face. While it’s true the two used to spend time together whenever they hanged out with a group of friends, Vegard also likes to give Bård his space. He knows his brother needs to have a moment to breathe. Often enough, he would either allow his brother some space or just keep silent for minutes. That’d last until Bård included him into the conversation again— something that happens quite often. It’s unavoidable, considering how the two tend to speak in plural rather than in singular when telling a story or talking about the things they like. Still, he finds it weird that Bård doesn’t look as excited to meet his friends as before.

“Why?” Vegard questions with curiosity, taking a step closer to his brother.

“I just don’t feel like it, Vegard, alright?”

“I promise won’t get mad at you, I was teasing, I—”

“God, maybe I just want to spend some time with you, jerk," Bård utters in a rush before looking away. He stares at the people across the room, the ones that have been chatting non-stop since they arrived. “Maybe I just missed hanging out with you at parties and I don’t want to be with them, just with you.”

For a short moment Vegard remains silent, analysing the words he has just heard. They take him with his guard down. Perhaps it’s been the same for his brother, because the younger brother’s cheeks carry a rosy blush on them and he also refuses to meet Vegard’s eyes now. The brothers are hardly that emotional with words. The day he came back from the army, Bård threw into his arms and gave him the tightest hug in what felt a lifetime. Nonetheless, he never said a thing as they shared that warm welcoming embrace.

But the truth is that Bård wants to be with him, and the confession brings him an unexplainable joy. He wants to be with him too, and not only in parties. It’s true that now he’s realised Bård has been spending most his free time with him, he’ll be worried to be suffocating his little brother. Though in those occasions he’ll make a mental note on remembering the words Bård has hissed at him. Vegard chuckles at the way Bård chooses to confess he wants them to spend time together.

“What are you laughing about?”

“You,” he confesses, still carrying the grin on his face. “Sometimes I can’t tell whether you’re trying to be cute or mean.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“And you are so cute.” Vegard pinches Bård’s cheek, earning a groan from the younger brother. He says the words with honesty, though it might be a joke for the younger of the two. He means it, in more than one way. “Definitely cute.”

“Oh, God, shut up.”

“But it’s true, you are cute.”

The words make the younger giggle with a furrowed brow, slapping Vegard’s hand away. The giggles are contagious, and Vegard ends up breaking into laughter himself. His free hand fall to Bård’s shoulder instead, squeezing the muscle. Yeah, he definitely missed spending time with him like this.

“Bård?” A female voice interrupts their laughter.

Vegard’s eyes move from Bård’s face to the person standing behind his back. It’s a girl, a very pretty girl. He observes her image: her hair is little over her shoulders, red lips that are neither too thin nor too thick, a black dress that reveals most of her shoulders and round breasts. Her nails are painted red, the same shade as her lipstick, and she also holds a bottle of beer in one of her hands. Her eyes are of a light blue, but such a bright shade that they seem almost white. The last thing Vegard notices in his flash study, is that below the corner of her pointy nose and top lip there’s a small freckle.

He’s about to say something when Bård turns around, and a kind smile draws on her face.

Hell, she is totally beautiful.

“It is you!” She says with a small laughter. She sounds happy. “I’m so glad you could come.”

“Elisabeth!” His brother exclaims, opening his arms at her. “Hello, happy birthday!”

 _Of course, she must be his ex-girlfriend_ , Vegard thinks to himself as he drinks from his beer. He should’ve been prepared to meet her at any time now, but it was the last of his worries when they stepped into the place. Of course she’d be this beautiful, a perfect match for his brother. Rather than making himself noticeable, he stare at them with curiosity. The girl immediately hugs him, throwing her arms around Bård’s shoulders. She’s shorter than Vegard, but she still manages to press her face to Bård’s chest. However, Vegard notices how Bård’s back remains tense while they hug.

He doesn’t know why, but that makes him feel at ease.

The hug doesn’t last for long, and soon Bård is stepping by his side again, though her free hand lingers for some seconds on Bård’s chest.

“Thank you,” she says with a cheerful tone, retrieving her hand from Bård’s chest. “You look good!”

“And so do you, birthday girl.”

She waves at him. “Oh, stop it.”

“No, I mean it. You do look fantastic.”

In spite of those words, Vegard wonders if his brother truly means it. He knows him, and those words seem to be spoken out of mere politeness. Perhaps that’s the reason why his insides don’t stir with jealousy when he hears the compliment. For being his ex-girlfriend, Bård doesn’t treat her with the kind of charming personality Vegard was expecting him to. Rather than that, he finds his behaviour similar to the way they’d react if they found old neighbours at a grocery story, people they were used to seeing every day and sharing a couple of hours a week together. Nothing else.

Still resting against the wall, Vegard studies his brother’s body language. Bård doesn’t reach to touch her, doesn’t even lean closer when he speaks. In a way, he feels relieved. Should he feel bad for that feeling relief rather than encouraging his brother to hit on her?

Not knowing the answer to his own question, Vegard takes a long sip from his beer, the cold bitter liquid sliding down his throat.

“How’s theatre?” Elisabeth asks, tilting her head.

“Good,” Bård replies. “Things have been pretty good lately.”

“Yeah, I can see that." In a sharp movement, she turns to Vegard, clearing her throat. Her smile is friendly, and her teeth are neat and white while she smiles. “So rude of him not to introduce us already. You must be Bård’s boyfriend?”

The words reach his ears, and Vegard is thankful he isn’t drinking from his beer at the moment she speaks. _Boyfriend_? Is Bård’s ex confused, or is it some kind of joke? He tries to keep still, unaware of how to react. His eyes immediately find Bård’s, which are shouting without the need of words. _Say yes_ , Vegard reads in those blue irises, though he cannot explain why. _Boyfriend_ , he muses to himself, _she didn’t say brother, she said boyfriend_. He wants to ask Bård what is going on, but he can’t. Despite his worries, Vegard trusts blindly in him, and if Bård needs him to lie, Vegard’s got his back.

“Yeah, hi,” he utters, following the game. He waves at her in a playful manner, assuming a straight posture. “I’m Vegard.”

“And I’m Elisabeth,” she says with a wide grin. “Nice to meet you.”

“I can only say the same thing!” He peeps. “And happy birthday, by the way.”

“Thank you so much! You are lovely.”

“Oh, please.” He waves dismissively at her, and his nervous eyes find Bård’s for a moment. The blond boy looks quite amused, though there’s a blush in his face that isn’t due to the beer. “I’m not.”

“He’s a bit shy,” Bård gets into the conversation, stepping closer to him. Their elbows bump together, yet, for once, Vegard doesn’t know how to interpret that signal. “But you’re right, he is absolutely lovely.”

He stares at him, and how tenderly he says those words. Is this a game he doesn’t know the rules of? What is Bård doing? If there was any doubt whether she said boyfriend or brother, Bård’s behaviour makes things even clearer for him. He tries to keep calm, to understand his brother’s way of thinking so he can adapt his own.

“That’s good, because you are quite lovely yourself,” Elisabeth says, laughing. “So for how long have you two been together now?”

The question takes them both with their guard down, and Vegard tries to find any clue in Bård’s face. He’ll let him answer the question, letting him now by taking a sip from his beer. They’re used to faking stories to outsiders, and it’s easy for them to follow the other’s lies with their own. Vegard can act, he just needs to follow Bård’s lead. It won’t be too difficult.

“It will be three months next Wednesday,” Bård starts. By Vegard’s quick calculations, his brother is using the date he came back from the military training. Clever. “But we’ve known each other for so long it feels as we don’t truly have a date.”

“Yeah. I actually forgot our first month together date, but Bård here set a dinner for us at his place.” He smirks at his own story. It isn’t a lie as a whole. He remembers how everyone in the house was asleep and Bård decided to cook dinner for the two of them. He hopes Bård remembers it as well. “I’m not so good at remembering dates, but he is.”

“And he’s a great kisser too, huh?”

Vegard can’t help but take a long look at his brother, who is violently blushing. “Oh, yes, he is.”

The three laugh with ease, the pop music still blasting in the room. Elisabeth looks as if she’s about to keep questioning them. She must many questions under her sleeve. Yet before she can say anything, someone calls Bård’s name from across the room, and her lips press into a line.

“Wait,” Bård says with a short smile. He first looks at Elisabeth, but then he meets Vegard’s gaze, and his eyes linger longer than on the girl. “I’ll be right back.”

The brothers exchange a flash look. Bård’s blue eyes shoot a quick apology without the need of words, and Vegard only nods his understanding. He watches him go to the guy in plaid shirt who called his name, realising he’s been left alone with Elisabeth. Wondering what subject he might bring up to lighten up a conversation between them, Vegard rolls the neck of the beer between his index and thumb. He remains conscious of her pale eyes on him. That, and her looks, makes him nervous.

To be left alone with someone he has just met is often awkward to him. Yet truth be told, Elisabeth seems to be nicer than most of Bård’s previous friends. Not that Vegard had any problem with his friends— Bård spent a good time around them, and that reason enough to try and be around them. In spite of this, he barely spoke in their presence, opting to wait for the moment when Bård was alone to have a proper conversation with him.

Luckily, it’s the birthday girl that breaks the ice.

“So,” she says with a little hum, curving her lips into a friendly grin. “The two of you seem to be really happy together.”

“We are,” Vegard replies in an instant. He knows what she means, as a couple, and still he can’t help but speak the truth. They are happy. He’s the happiest man on earth when he’s got his brother by his side, and it took him a year to realise how significant it is to have him around. The thought brings an idea to his mind, a question that he’s thought about before, so he hums as well, and narrows his eyes. “Can I ask you something, though?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Was he as happy as he is now when he was with you?”

She seems hesitant for an instant, probably wondering why would Vegard want to know that. Nevertheless, she shakes her head, another chuckle escaping her red lips. “I’d like to think he was, but looking at him now makes me realise that what he felt back then wasn’t happiness,” she explains, sipping from her beer. “Not true happiness, at least. But I guess it’s understandable— we can only call it true happiness when you are with the person you love,” Elisabeth continues, keeping always a warm tone. “And he didn’t love me, he loved you.”

Vegard considers her words for a second. How would she know Bård was in love with someone else? And why would she imply it’s Vegard? He feels confused, hates not knowing something that’s relevant in his brother’s life.

“Do you truly think so?”

“I know so, silly. Women have an eye for this. But that’s fine— I’m glad to see he is happy with the boy of his dreams.”

“The boy of his dreams?” Vegard inquires, a bit confused by her peculiar choice of words. His eyebrows knit together, and he feels his face heating up. “What do you mean?”

“Yes, I mean— you said your name is Vegard, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And do you happen to like planes and geography?”

Vegard blinks. “Yes, I do.”

“Unless there’s another Vegard whose personality matches your own, then you’re the Vegard Bård always spoke so highly about when we were together.”

With interest, Vegard stares at her, hoping surprise isn’t too evident on his face. Has Bård truly done that? Spoken about him while he was away? And with a smoking hot girl that was his girlfriend? That’s the only explanation, because there’s no other way she’d know those things about him. Bård has given her that information. Vegard can hardly believe it. He remembers how his brother proudly claimed to have forgotten about his existence while he did his obligatory military training. He knew there was some lies to it, of course. Bård has been spending most of his time with him ever since he got back. That spoke louder than words. Yet he wouldn’t have imagined Bård spoke about him while he was gone— especially with his _girlfriend_.

“Did he really use to talk about me?” He asks, quite perplexed.

“Oh, yeah, he did in several occasions. He always spoke about this _Vegard_ ,” she replies, lifting her eyebrows after saying his name, as if getting into a pool full of memories in her own mind. “His voice always changed whenever he mentioned that name. I never asked him, but I always knew it was someone truly special to him. Maybe way too special,” Elisabeth puts a lot of emphasis on her words. “Don’t get me wrong; Bård is a wonderful guy, I’m sure you know that already, but when we were together it didn’t take me long to realise he was in love with someone else. I should’ve known the person he was in love with was that Vegard he talked about so much.”

 _He was in love with someone else_.

The words echo in his head, centring all his thoughts in the curious information he’s just received. Bård has spoken about him in a very distinctive way. Though that isn’t all— Elisabeth firmly believes Bård’s words for him are act of love. Vegard needs an explanation, he needs to hear it from his brother’s voice. Can it be that Bård lied to get out of that flash relationship? Or is it that he feels that way about someone else, but used his brother’s name as an excuse? _No_ , he tells himself, _that cannot be. Geography, planes, he was talking about me_.

Vegard’s heart starts to beat faster again.

His eyes move from Elisabeth’s fair face to find his brother’s shape. Bård is eagerly talking to a group of young men, nodding and laughing as the others speak. Even with distance between them, Vegard still thinks he looks gorgeous tonight, and it’s still hard for him to concentrate in something that isn’t his brother. He grabs the bottle tighter while he gets goosebumps on his arms. If what she says is true, why has Bård never told him anything before?

Can it be that Bård’s heart also beats fast when the two are together?

“You look confused, dear,” Elisabeth points out, bringing him back into the conversation. “Didn’t you know about this already?”

“I…” Vegard shrugs, eyes going back to his brother. “I guess I never thought he liked me that much.”

“He doesn’t just like you, Vegard, he loves you,” she corrects him, and she sounds quite sure of what she says. “Don’t you love him too?”

Before he can utter any words, Bård turns in his direction. Their eyes meet, and Vegard feels they stare into his naked soul, silly as it sounds. His brother probably doesn’t have the slightest clue of what is going on the inside of his mind. And still, he seems to cast some spell on Vegard. An unexpected shiver runs down his spine and he can’t seem to give the birthday girl an immediate response.

Bård narrows his eyes for a brief moment before the corners of his mouth curve upwards. Vegard cannot do much but keep himself together as the words ‘ _love_ ’ and ‘ _Bård_ ’ occupy his mind. He stares at him, at the way he steps closer and closer to him, shortening the distance between them.

“Yeah,” Vegard finally utters, feeling how his lips curve into a loving smile once Bård walks past Elisabeth and steps by his side. His gaze doesn’t leave his brother’s features as he speaks. “I do.”

“What do you do?” Bård inquiries, his voice both amused curious. “What are you talking about?”

“About you,” Elisabeth replies first. “What else would we talk about?”

“Oh, really?” He turns to stare at Vegard with a lifted eyebrow. “And what were you talking about me?”

 _About how much you love me_ , Vegard muses to himself. His inner thoughts make a fuzzy feeling spread across his chest. He knows he’s blushing, cheeks getting hot, and he shakes his head in hope for the colour to vanish. Recapitulating the past events for a brief moment, Vegard reaches to his left. His arm wraps around Bård’s waist, pulling him against his side. There are no complaints coming from him when Vegard’s fingers dance over his clothed hipbone. The older brother doesn’t know whether it’s all a silly act Bård is putting for Elisabeth or he is actually enjoying the way he caresses his side. Either way, the fuzzy feeling refuses to go away, and his pulse is racing again.

“About how lucky I am to have you,” he explains softly. His gaze moves from Bård’s eyes to his lips. Those pink, soft-looking lips. There’s a tone underlying in his voice he hopes Bård will be able to recognise as honesty. “And how I wish we’ll never be apart for such a long time.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re an idiot,” Bård tells him, but he doesn’t pull away. Rather than that, he keeps looking at Vegard with a certain gleam in his eye, and Vegard finds it hard to look away. “Did you know that?”

“I’ve already got you to remind me of it daily,” Vegard shoots back, arching his eyebrows. “Haven’t I?”

For a fraction of second, Bård looks as if he’s about to reply something, pink lips partially opened and the blue in his eyes quite serene. Vegard is anxious to hear what he has to say, he wants to know what’s going on in his mind. Yet before a word comes out, his mouth closes and Bård blinks his thoughts away.

“Okay,” Elisabeth speaks, clearing her throat. Their attention is drawn back to her, finding her with her arms crossed on her chest and holding an empty bottle of beer. “I’m going to leave you two lovebirds alone,” she informs, pointing at them. “Be good. And Vegard, keep making him happy.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He holds him closer. “I will.”

After that, the brothers only nod their farewells and watch her walk away. The silence between them doesn’t last much, because as soon as she disappears between a group of people, Bård starts giggling, still pressed against his side. Vegard laughs too, though he knows it’s not due to the half bottle of beer he’s drank. It’s more to do with the way Elisabeth’s words fit in his reality.

In a slow move, Vegard unwraps his arm from Bård’s waist, running his fingertips on his lower back and sides in a teasing manner. They both chuckle at the friendly action, and Bård then punches his shoulder with a closed fist.

“So I’m the one who has to go along with all this and you also get to punch me?” Vegard says with indignation in his face.

Bård chuckles before his fist impacts on his shoulder again. “Yes.”

“A good boyfriend wouldn’t do that, you know,” he then utters with a serious tone. “Because you _are_ my boyfriend. That’s nice.”

“Okay, Vegard, I can explain—”

“I would like to heard and explanation, yes.” He laughs. “Especially after Elisabeth seemed to know me before I even spoke.”

With a guilty expression, Bård sighs, taking a look at both sides of the living room. Vegard follows his eyes, noticing their surroundings as well. There are some couches around, some of which are occupied and two that are free. He anticipates Bård’s thoughts beforehand, already smiling when Bård turns back at him. He knows he is about to grab the sleeve of his denim jacket to pull him along. Instead, Vegard moves first and clasps his hand firmly in his own. He’ll get the best out of this situation.

“ _Boyfriends,_ ” he reminds him, winking. “Right?”

Their eyes meet and Bård flushes. Hell, he looks completely adorable. “Right. Okay.”

Maybe it has to do what the words Elisabeth told him, or perhaps it’s the need Vegard has to hear everything from Bård’s own mouth. Either way, he finds this ‘ _boyfriends_ ’ thing quite amusing. Part of it is because is driven by his curiosity to know if there’s some more into it than just an act. Quite pleased with the way his brother clutches at his hand, Vegard leads the way to one of the couches. He feels the eyes of people on their backs, but he doesn’t truly care about it, and he wonders whether Bård does or not. He tries to ignore them, because the warmth of Bård’s palm pressed against his own is way absorbing.

They land on one of the couches. It’s huge and of a vintage pink, with some small cushions on top. Vegard picks the right side whilst Bård occupies the left, and their hands remain clasped for a moment. In truth, Vegard wishes he could hold onto it for the rest of the night. He likes feeling Bård’s palm in contact with his own. Their hands are so different, yet their fingers seem to fit together. But he knows it’s better if he lets his bother express himself freely, without having any kind of restrains. After some seconds, Vegard lets go of his hand.  

“I’m all ears,” Vegard tells him. He places the almost empty bottle of beer on the floor before crossing his arms on his chest.

“What do you want to know?”

“Well, let’s start with an explanation on why does your ex-girlfriend think I am your boyfriend?”

One moment Bård looks as if he’s about to call the whole thing off, but then his eyelids drop and he takes a deep, calming breath. When he opens his eyes again, Vegard knows he’s ready to speak.

“Okay, just— just listen what I’ve got to say. Back when I was with Elisabeth and I felt things were off, I went through several excuses to use when I decided to tell her things weren’t fine between us. I spent some nights trying to come up with something worth a breakup. In the end, I found two or three possible excuses,” Bård explains, sighing deeply after a long shot of information. Vegard remains quiet, listening to everything thoroughly. “Anyway, the day came, we were sitting face to face. I knew we were about to break up. She asked me what was wrong between us. In that moment I felt frozen. The first thing that came into my mind was telling her I was gay.”

Picturing the whole event, he chuckles. “Of all the excuses you could have used…”

“I told her I liked men, yes,” Bård finishes his sentence. “But everything was nice, you know? She understood and there were no harsh feelings after we broke up."

Vegard narrows his eyes, noticing there’s a trace of relief in Bård’s voice. He wishes he could ask him, _do you like men_? Though he knows better than to do that. Vegard lets his hands fall to his lap.

“And how come I am your boyfriend?”

“Oh, well,  when I found Elisabeth at the store, we spoke for a couple of minutes. I might had told her I had a boyfriend, and she asked me if I was taking him to her birthday party.”

“And you said yes.”

“And I said yes,” Bård echoes with a trace of amusement in his voice. “Only because I knew you’d agree to coming with me.”

“So, in your mind, you already knew I’d say yes?”

Rather than an automatic response, Bård stares at him with a look Vegard can’t quite decipher. All of the sudden, there’s a hand covering his own on top of his thigh, bringing it to rest over a spot between their bodies. Vegard’s gaze drops to their clasped hands for a moment, taking in both the way they look and how Bård’s hand feels in his own. An odd flame burns his insides when he realises how callous Bård’s fingers are while they move back and forth his knuckles.

 _He was in love with someone else_.

Vegard swallows hard.

“Of course I did,” Bård replies in a whisper that leaves him completely breathless. He looks up and meets his gaze. He doesn’t understand why, but Bård’s features have softened, and he truly seems to be enjoying this. “You are a wonderful brother. ”

Vegard feels his face heating up. “Bård…” He mumbles, pressing his lips into a thin line.

“I mean it, Vegard.”

And right in that moment, he knows Bård does mean his words. His blue eyes gleam with their own light, and there is nothing but honesty in them. It’s hard to cope with his words because they are rarely this emotional, especially when it comes to words. Vegard knows Bård’s feelings for him have always been strong. That’s how he feels about him too. And yet, there has never been some kind of spoken confirmation of these feelings. They know the feelings exist, but the subject has never been touched verbally.

“I don’t know what to say,” he confesses somewhat embarrassed.

Bård squeezes his hand. “Then don’t say anything.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he echoes, lips curving into a short smile. “But, Vegard?”

“Huh?”

“Can we pretend for the rest of the night?”

The question isn’t as surprising as it should be. It might have something to do with the natural way his body seems to react to this kind of intimacy. His own fingers know how to move on the back of Bård’s palm. They how to caress his soft skin with slow movements, how to squeeze it in between touches. And it’s not only that, Vegard feels comfortable with the lack of distance between their bodies. He likes to pass his arm around Bård’s waist. He likes holding him close. He enjoys all of this, and he knows Bård likes it, too.

 _He doesn’t just like you, Vegard, he loves you_.

Elisabeth’s words prevail in his mind, creating questions Vegard can’t find any answers to. The more he stares into those blue pools, the faster his heart beats, the hotter his insides turn. Vegard sees it, he recognises the love reflected in Bård’s dark pupils, and it’s just like a mirror reflecting his own soul. He likes this, and he loves him, so he knows what he answer will be before he opens his mouth.

“I don’t see why not.” He grins. “Let’s pretend.”

Vegard squeezes his hand, and a silly grin draws on his brother’s face.

Hell, Bård truly looks gorgeous when he smiles.

 

* * *

 

Vegard gets into the car first, closing the door before getting his left hand on the steering wheel. The passenger door opens and Bård joins him on the inside of the car. Once the two are in there, Vegard can’t help but stare in his direction. The world seems so quiet now that they’re on the inside of the car, obnoxious to the loud pop music still playing on the inside of the house.

The rest of the evening happened in a flash. They didn’t keep drinking after they finished their first bottle of beer. After Vegard agreed to Bård’s proposal, they remained on the couch, talking about random stuff. Their hands were clasped as they spoke. Vegard felt tickles on the bits of skin that Bård’s fingers touched, and his insides kept burning with the contact. After a while, the brothers stood up and walked across the house. Vegard met a small group of Bård’s friends, though the conversation didn’t last longer than ten minutes. They were nice, and none found weird the way Vegard practically.

What came as a surprise to him was Bård’s hand finding his own again, inviting him to pass his arm around his waist. Vegard took the hint and did it, pressing Bård against him as the group discussed something he never really understood. In truth, neither of them was caught in the conversation, and their eyes kept meeting in a rather intimate way.

Once Bård closes the door, Vegard starts the car, though his eyes remain fixed on his brother. He looks beautiful, as he’s done the whole night. Even his profile is a thing of beauty for Vegard. It isn’t much of a surprise when those blue irises are staring back at him.

“It wasn’t that bad, huh?” Bård says after some seconds of mute staring into each other’s eyes. “Could’ve been worse?”

“Tonight was quite good, actually,” Vegard muses happily, even if his reasons to like the events are quite wicked. “I had a good time.”

“Did you?”

“Yeah. All of this…uh, _thing_ , was kind of funny.”

“ _Pretending,_ ” Bård corrects him.

“Yeah, all of this pretending.”

There’s a brief moment of silence in which both of their smiles die. Vegard becomes aware of everything, of how Bård’s lips remain parted, of how his eyes seem to shift from Vegard’s eyes to his mouth. His pulse races, and he lets go of the steering wheel.

 _He loves you_.

The words are still fresh in his mind. He hasn’t forgotten about them. And the more he stares into those bright eyes, the more he starts to believe in them.

“Vegard,” his brother mumbles, slowly leaning forward. “Come closer.”

Without hesitation, Vegard does. He doesn’t understand why, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he leans in too. He moves until there’s only a small distance separating them. For some seconds, he’s afraid of what might happen, yet before his worries grow any bigger, a hand falling on top of his right thigh clears his mind of any doubt. Vegard’s eyelids drop at the contact, and he allows the impossible to happen.

It’s impossible to tell who’s the one who eliminates the distance between their faces, but it doesn’t mind. All he can think of is how soft Bård’s lips are on his own. He responds to Bård’s movements with his own paused ones. His heart beats so hard he feels it’s going to burst out of his own chest. They kiss, the warmth created by the slow friction of their lips being all he cares for. His own hand moves, and before he realises what he’s doing, Vegard caresses the side of Vegard’s face. In a similar manner, the hand on his thigh travels down his body, only that Bård decides to hold the back of his neck to keep him in place.

 

With Bård’s lips pressed against his own in a perfect way, with his fingers grabbing the short curls on the back of his head, Vegard is able to see clearer than ever. Everything makes sense. Elisabeth’s words. Bård’s persistence on keeping their act. Even the way his brother has been clingy since he’s back. The longing looks and excessive touches. Vegard suddenly understands everything, even the reason his heartbeat is never at ease when Bård is so close to him.

Wanting more, Vegard is about to deepen the kiss, but Bård’s lips leave his own, and for a brief moment the frighten creeps back to his bones. His hand releases Bård’s cheek in just a second, though he lets it fall on his brother’s knee. He holds onto it, squeezing a little too hard. Perhaps the realisation is too big, even for his brother. He keeps his eyes tightly shut, and after hesitating for a brief moment, he decides to speak.

“Bård?” Vegard whispers his name, their faces still so close he can feel the other’s warm breath over his lips. “Are we still doing it?”

“Are we still doing what?”

“Still pretending.”

Some seconds pass by, but Vegard is afraid to open his eyes and break the spell that has been cast around them. He doesn’t want to flutter his eyelids open and find Bård looking vulnerable and insecure, he doesn’t even want to know if the streetlights are yellowish or orange, he doesn’t even care if there’s someone outside the care staring at them. All he cares about is the warmth emanating from the face that is so close to his own. His mouth itches to feel those soft lips against his own, his lungs burn to breathe the same air.

It’s confusing, it’s strange, but, _God_ , it’s perfect.

“Yes,” is Bård’s quiet but eventual response, soft and clear, brief and heartwarming. “Yes, we are.”

Vegard wants to ask why. He wants to know what Bård means with that. He needs to clarify if all of this pretending means he feels the way Vegard has felt for months. Though before he can utter a syllable, the hand on the back of his neck pulls him forward, drawing their mouths together once more.

It all seems to happen in slow motion. Bård kisses him softly, taking his time to discover his mouth. And Vegard lets him, he lets him move as slow as he wants, lets him take full control of the kiss. He never thought he’d allow someone to call all out of his moves like this, but he enjoys it. He can’t help but love the unusual sense of familiarity of those lips against his own. Holding Bård’s knee, he kisses back with eagerness, putting all of his keenness into it.

They break apart, though this time it’s due to the need they have to get air into his lungs. Vegard opens his eyes, finding the blue eyes dark in satisfaction. Slowly, they take their hands off each other, Vegard letting go of his knee and Bård releasing the soft hold he kept on the back of his head. All they do for a moment is stare into each other’s eyes, but then Bård laughs, and Vegard finds it that beautiful laughter more infectious than ever.

“That was…”

“Bad?”

“Good,” Vegard replies, lips curved upwards into a smile. “Perfect.”

“Are you for real?”

“Why would I ever lie to you about this?”

“I don’t know, I—”

Before his brother can make some nonsense up, Vegard leans as far as he can and places one peck over those soft lips that feel so good on his own.

“Can you stop being an idiot and believe me?”

You are the idiot,” Bård utters with a chuckle. His eyes seem to be brighter. “But do you want to know a secret?”

“Of course,” he confesses, quite curious on what he wants to say.

“I think that was perfect, too.”

The blush is present in his cheek and nose. Vegard suspects he doesn’t look any different himself.

“Let’s go now,” Bård encourages, tilting his head in direction of the road ahead. “We can’t arrive too late.”

With nothing left to add, Vegard complies. With one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the gear shift, he starts to drive. He doesn’t utter a word when Bård’s left hand comes to rest on his thigh.

The rest of the drive back home is filled with careful touches, stolen glances, and silly giggles. Every time he turns to his side those blue eyes are staring back at him, sharing intimate looks that end up in the two brothers blushing.

At least a thousand questions pop up in Vegard’s mind while he follows the road. He wants— needs to listen the truth from his brother’s mouth. In a way, the kisses confirm what Elisabeth told him, but they don’t truly resolve all of his questions. Does Bård love him that much? Does his love trespass the fraternal line? Can it be that he has been harbouring these deep and intense emotions without being aware of it? If so, since when?

Perhaps the answers are in the little touches, in the unintentional chuckles, in all of the natural acts of brotherly love he’s so used to. But perhaps they are not as innocent as he’s always thought them to be. Yeah, they might seem quite odd to strangers, but he loves to tackle Bård to the floor and tickle his whole body, he loves feeling the locks of golden hair brushing his neck and collarbone, he loves the sound of his laughter. Even those rare moments they end up falling asleep in the same couch or bed are dear to him. They’d wake up tangled in each other, and everything would feel like home.

Maybe love is the answer to all of his questions, maybe love is what draws them together in this new and exciting way, maybe love is the reason kissing Bård feels so right.

Vegard loves him, and he’s sure Bård loves him, too.

The roads are partially empty and it doesn’t take them too long to get home. Vegard parks in the driveway, turning the engine off. There is a faint tingling spreading fast on his whole body, the fire in the pit of his stomach lightening up again. It has to do with the hand that squeezes his thigh, but it’s more than that. He feels Bård’s blue eyes on him. That penetrating gaze is impossible to resist. Slowly, Vegard moves his head, facing his brother.

This time Vegard is the one that goes for it, without holding anything back. They are just pretending, and he doesn’t know if things will be back to the way they are used to be in the morning. Things are quite uncertain, and they will remain that way until they speak about it. But they can’t have a decent conversation now, it’s late, and they’re on the inside of a car. Vegard can’t speak his mind just yet. Instead, he stares into those eyes and closes the distance between them. If this is the last time he gets to kiss those soft lips, he’s going to make it worth it.

He leans until his mouth is above Bård’s. Gently, Vegard takes his upper lip between his own, pulling Bård into a slow yet heated kiss. One of his hands finds Bård’s resting his thigh, and he holds it tightly, lacing their fingers together. He deepens the kiss in an agile movement, and the younger boy parts his lips for him, accepting the invitation. Again, every little detail of the kiss feels so perfect; the way Bård kisses back with the same fervour, how their fingers seem to fit together, the sweet taste of Bård’s tongue against his own. Vegard’s heart beats so fast he is certain it is going to get out of his chest. He wants to stay into this moment, he wants for it to never end.

But they are pretending, and even as much as he wishes for time to freeze, it doesn’t. They break the kiss after a while, both brothers panting heavily, needing to get air into their lungs.

They blink in unison, though Vegard refuses to let go of his hand. It feels warm and comfortable exactly where it is: twined with his own.

“Wow,” Bård mumbles with a friendly tone. “Quite a night, huh?”

Vegard wants to reply, he truly does, possibly with a witty remark or a sarcastic monosyllable, but he can’t. He simply smiles, and his mouth is drawn back to Bård, only this time all he does is place small pecks over his brother’s lips. Bård smiles, and Vegard feels that smile with his own mouth on each of those kisses. He’s about to place another peck into those beautiful lips when they catch his own into a different kind of his. Bård squeezes his hands while he takes control of the kiss. Vegard’s other hand finds its way to the back of his brother’s neck, and he tangles his fingers in the mass of hair as they kiss with an enduring passion.

When they break apart, the brothers do whatever is possible to keep a minimum distance between their faces. Their foreheads are pressed together, and Vegard can’t stop smiling. His cheeks hurt from feeling so happy. His fingers tangle on the golden locks at his disposition, and his thumb moves in circular motion over his scalp.

“Bård?”

“Hmm?”

“You know,” he mumbles, running his fingers on Bård’s soft hair. “Elisabeth was right; you are a great kisser.”

“Oh, shut up, Vegard.”

“Make me.”

Bård does.

He leans in again, making their mouth crash together into another heated kiss. Vegard loves it. He could as well pretend for the rest of his life if there was some kind of assurance he’d get to kiss those lips every day, every night. Not only that, though— he just wants to spend the rest of his life with Bård, simple as it is. He doesn’t see his life without his brother in it, and that’s something that he realised in those months when he kept looking for his face to share all of his thoughts yet ended up finding nothing but air.

This fantastic love he feels inside is making him admit things to himself that he’d been keeping down, and he doesn’t know whether to embrace it or be afraid of it.

“It’s late,” Bård  whispers when they break apart, still centimetres away from his face. “We should go inside.”

“Yeah, we should, but…”

“But?” Vegard asks, curious for the answer.

Bård leans in and places a short peck on his mouth. When he draws back, Vegard sees the ghost of a smile dancing on his puffy lips.

“But nothing,” he mumbles, defeated. “There isn’t a reason why should stay in the car.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Let’s go inside.”

 

* * *

 

There are some knocks on his door. Vegard lies in bed, eyes wide open as his mind goes through all the events of that day, especially in the night. He hasn’t stopped thinking about them, not when Bård’s lips still ghost on his own. Lucky for them, everyone was asleep when they walked through the front door. There was a note from their mother on the kitchen table, but apart from that, there was no other sign from their parents or younger brother. The house remained in utter silence, and after telling the other goodnight, the brothers parted to their respective bedrooms.

Vegard’s thumbs dance together anxiously, one of top of the other. His line of thought breaks with the soft knocks. In spite of this, he doesn’t get to utter a word. The door to his bedroom opens slowly as a head peeks in.

The mass of dirty blond hair is unmistakable.

“Vegard?” Bård’s distinguished voice calls him. “Are you still awake?”

“Yes.” Vegard immediately sits up and motions him to get closer to the bed. However, all Bård does is walk in and close the door behind him, standing on that very spot.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” he echoes. “What’s wrong?”

“I just wanted to tell you goodnight and to thank you for going with me to Elisabeth’s party.”

“You know there’s nothing to thank me for.”

“Yeah, still…”

Realising Bård is not about to get close to the bed any soon, he stands up from the bed and walks in his direction. Soon, he stands before him, their toes almost meeting on the floor. Vegard does all he can to be as close to Bård as he possibly can while still keeping a short distance between their bodies. Even with the invasion of personal space, Bård remains in spot, not moving away. It gives Vegard all the courage he needs to act.

He wets his lips, and then speaks up.

“Bård?”

“Vegard?”

“I know we’re home, but…”

“But?” This time Bård is the one to ask.

Honestly, Vegard can give him an answer, tell him all there is in his mind. Yet he knows actions speak louder than words, so he decides to show him rather than tell him. Vegard tiptoes, only so his mouth is almost at the same level as Bård’s. Their eyes lock together for some seconds, but Vegard lets himself be taken over by the magic moment. His hands fall over Bård’s shoulders, and he holds onto him for better support. Slowly, he leans in, and presses his mouth against Bård’s.

The previous kisses are innocent compared to this one. Vegard wastes no time in deepening the kiss, familiarising himself with Bård’s mouth. He perceives a faint taste of mint in his tongue, but Vegard doesn’t mind it at all. As their tongues move together in a unique manner, Bård’s hands get on his waist, reducing the distance between them to nothing. Their bodies press together, and the fire that was once lit up in Vegard’s stomach now spreads to all of his body. The kiss ends with a soft giggle leaving his own mouth. Vegard places both feet back on the ground, but he keeps holding onto Bård, and Bård keeps holding onto him.

“We can keep pretending,” he whispers, “if you want us to.”

Bård’s eyes widen, and Vegard notices how his pupils are blown. “I’d like that.”

“Good. Then let’s pretend.”

“Let’s pretend.”

Vegard smiles, but he’s caught off when Bård’s face is close to his own again. His eyelids drop the second he feels those soft lips pressing against his own. They kiss for what feels the hundredth time of the night, but Vegard sees no problem in it. He’d kiss him for a hundred— _a thousand_ times if he could. Right now he can’t think of anything else that makes him feel the way Bård does. It explains his raced heartbeat and blushed face, to all of those times he thought Bård must be the most beautiful person on Earth, to the amount of emotions Bård makes him feel.

Yes, it all makes sense. He truly loves Bård.

“Okay,” Bård says, catching his breath. “I think we should probably sleep now.”

“We probably should.”

Bård squeezes his sides. “Stop repeating my words.”

“Why?”

“Because you make me want to kiss you again.”

“Hmm…” He closes the distance between their faces, yet their lips don’t touch. “I don’t see a problem with that.”

Vegard doesn’t know who is the one to press his lips to the other’s, but he doesn’t care— they kiss again, and the flame in his stomach keeps burning. When he feels Bård’s eagerness to deepen the kiss, he parts his mouth for him. The kiss evolves into a hungrier action, using tongues, lips and even their teeth.

“You should go to bed,” Vegard tells him when they pull apart. “It’s late.”

“Now it’s you the one saying it’s late?”

“Because it is late, Bård. You get cranky when you don’t get enough sleep.”

Bård huffs. “Believe me, I won’t get cranky if I lose my sleep because of you.”

The words make Vegard chuckle, and the urges to kiss him are strong. Nonetheless, he is aware of his position, and if it were up to him, he’d keep on kissing Bård until the two fell asleep while still standing up.

“What is so funny?” Bård demands to know.

“You,” he replies, releasing the lock around his neck to tap the tip of his pointy nose. “And your fucking cuteness.”

“Oh my God, shut—”

Vegard knows what’s next, so he anticipates the motion and grabs Bård by the neck of his pyjama tops. He pulls him down, and before he has any complaint, Vegard presses their lips together. Kissing Bård is like foreign land to him, yet it’s so oddly familiar that leaves him feeling home. He can’t explain why but he feels it, and he bets Bård feels it too.

“Go to bed now, Bård,” he mumbles sweetly, knowing Bård won’t be able to argue. “I’ll be here tomorrow. We have plenty of time to pretend.”

Bård narrows his eyes in suspicion, still not letting go of Vegard’s hips. “Do we?”

“Yeah.”

“For as long as we want to?”

“For as long as we want to.”

“But what if we— what if _I_ never want this to end?”

Vegard’s heart skips a beat. There’s a small trace of fear in his chest, but it dissipates between the warmth and fuzzy feeling that he can tell apart as love. “Then we won’t have to end this. Don’t worry about anything right now, Bård,” he says, keeping his voice serene and loving. “We’ll be good, I promise.”

In turn, Bård nods. Vegard’s heart warms up, understanding the action as something that has prevailed with the pass of the years. By now he’s an expert on reading the signs on Bård’s face that tell Vegard has scurried his worries away. Though in the middle of the reading, Bård leans down to press their mouths together once more. It’s but a mere peck, but Vegard shuts his eyes tightly and enjoys the warmth of the kiss.

“Good night, Vegard,” he whispers over his lips.

“Sleep well,” he says back, smiling.

They let go of each other in slow movements. Vegard’s arms unwrap from his neck, sliding down his chest to finally release the grip. In a similar manner, Bård’s hand let go of his hips, leaving a tingling sensation in his skin. If it were up to him, he’d keep his hands on his brother for the rest of the night, but he’s aware that it isn’t possible.

Vegard stands frozen in spot, watching every step he takes. He’s ready to see the body disappearing through the door, but before Bård opens it, he looks over his shoulder. Their eyes meet, and Vegard sees the purest of the smiles on his face. His heart skips a beat. That small action is all the brothers need to finally say goodnight. The door opens, and Bård steps out of his room.

With nothing left to do, Vegard goes back to his bed. He gets under the covers, lying down. Darkness prevails in his room, but he knows he won’t be able to sleep any soon. In his mind, the image of Bård prevails. The soft of his lips. The warmth of his hands. Even the shadows cast by his long eyelashes. Every little thing that reminds him of him fill every corner of his mind. By now, even Elisabeth’s words, the ones that make more sense than ever, stay present in his head.

He closes his eyes, embracing his own thoughts.

Yeah, this thing can be scary. They are brothers, they spend most of their time together, and that won’t change anytime soon. And even though it’s scary, Vegard hopes it won’t end. To discover Bård’s feelings for him are the same ones he’s had for months is wonderful, something that seems to be meant to happen. Maybe if not now, they would’ve discovered them in the future. But tonight they became aware of these feelings, even if it was through the art of pretending.

Perhaps some day there will be more than kisses between them. Perhaps some day they won’t have to call this thing they’ve gotten themselves into ‘ _pretending._ ’ Perhaps some day they will use another label that will be suitable to the way they feel towards the other.

Vegard knows this whole deal is rushed, but he truly longs for that day to come.

**Author's Note:**

> While writing part of this I happened to stumble across this awesome [90s playlist](http://8tracks.com/quadloop/we-like-to-party), and I just wanted to share it in case you’re wondering what kind of music was playing at the party.  
> Anyway, I hope this fic wasn’t too silly. Thanks for reading!


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